Do you enjoy YOU?
I want to start being more transparent here. Why? Because it feels good for me and I'm realizing more and more how connected we all are. Recently I've experienced thoughts and feelings that felt like they were mine alone, but were revealed to be so synchronistic with the collective when I had the nerve to share them with others.
Usually, the thing you are experiencing is not new, unfounded, or that unique if we're being honest. When we share our experiences, magic happens. So onto my story.
This came to me this morning as I was sitting in a restaurant in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico happily eating breakfast alone.
I didn’t always enjoy my own company (a few things helped me get there).
I basically grew up as an only child because of the age gap between my siblings. And for many years, it was just me and my Mom. Because she had to work so hard for us, I spent a lot of time alone. A true latchkey kid.
As an adult, even though I spent so much time alone as a child, being by myself in public was the strangest thing.
It was awkward.
Even embarrassing.
I thought…
"Are they judging me for being alone?"
“Do I LOOK l lonely?"
"Everyone is with someone else! It’s weird if you don’t have someone to be with, right?"
It’s a bit cringy sharing these thoughts, but that’s how I felt! Until I decided to stop caring and get to know myself on a deeper level. And actually start liking ME enough to actually enjoy our time together, regardless of anything else.
I slowly got over it, but I would say the catalyst of the current state I’m in…where I’m able to honor and enjoy the part of me who likes to roll solo dolo was in 2017 when I drove cross country from Los Angeles to Atlanta…by myself.
That’s when I first learned how EMPOWERED I could feel trusting myself to not only entertain myself but trust my ability to navigate.
There were mishaps along the way, like a car issue as I drove through New Mexico, getting sick and needing my family to support me in Dallas, and slipping & sliding down the highway as I drove through an unexpected snowstorm in the south.
But I was so proud of myself for taking that step.
And then taking my first solo trip to Bali for 6 weeks in 2018 was truly life changing. There’s so much I could say about how that one trip changed the trajectory of my life. But I’ll save that for another day.
Now I won’t say I don’t get lonely or want company. There are PLENTY of times when I’m craving connection. Learning about my human design, I found out I’m a 2/4 profile - the hermit and the networker. So it all makes sense. I need a lot of alone time but also a healthy dose of connection. And through learning more and more about myself, I know when it’s time for me to reach out for connection. Then I do!
All of this to say, I’ve come to love myself and being with me in a way that makes me proud. And when the time comes for me to share my life with another person, I believe I’ll be in a healthy place because I’ve already built a strong foundation in my own being.
If you're looking to deepen your level of self awareness, I currently have 2 resources to share with you. My free guide, A Guide to Remembrance: Awaken Your 4 Unique Superpowers for Authentic Expression, Fulfillment + Purpose and my Illuminate the Muse Human Design reading.